Dear napping coworker,

Being able to take a nap in your car on your lunch break is pretty sweet. I say that because I do it myself from time to time. You'll also notice that I park in the far end of the parking garage everyday because I know it to be a cherry napping spot, should I need it. If you're going to join the napping club, could you at least show some respect and properly pull into ONE parking space? Parking across 2 spaces like you just pulled in after a late night at the pub makes you look like a selfish bitch.

Suck it,
King Napper

Banality

Just overheard at noon in the busy, company kitchen:
"It looks like lunchtime!"
No shit. How can you tell?

This is a good example of all the mundane shit I hear in conversation around my office. This also reminds me of why I don't typically engage in casual conversation with my coworkers. Sure, I may come off as an asshole, but I truly don't care about the personal lives of most of my coworkers because, well, they're boring.

Another bit of triteness I can do without is when, every Friday morning, one of my coworker says to me in a sing-song way, "It's Fri-day!"

Nooooo sheee-it, Mr. Obvious. I know it's Friday. Everyone knows it's Friday. Are you implying that you're about to cut loose for the weekend? I doubt that. Nothing awesome is going to result from you tending to your bratty kids for the next 2 days. I am only interested in your weekend if it's on par with a Tucker Max story. See ya on Monday.