No Candy Lane

I just returned from picking up lunch at Biggs. During my 30 minutes of aimlessly wandering around the store, this sign caught my eye:

This was the first time I had seen a sign such as this, and I was curiously amused, to say the least. Unfortunately, the few customers in the store were sans children, so I wasn't able to witness this checkout aisle in action. As I approached the aisle, I expected to see the usual boxes of candy replaced with magazines, batteries, hand grenades, etc. Instead, I saw this:

Ok, so it's obviously not the same cavity-causing fare as in adjacent aisles, but it's pretty goddamn close. As a discerning adult, I know that these are just expensive candy bars that taste shitty. A little kid isn't going to know that. They know that the checkout aisle is where the candy is. "There's shit here that looks like candy. The boxes look the same. The wrappers are shiny. I can reach most of this stuff. Score."

I also don't think that "Family Friendly" is an appropriate description for the aisle. If it were something like this:

Except that I would change it to read "Attention SHITTY Parents. NO CANDY LANE." Spare me the comments about this being a brilliant idea for keeping a parent's sanity. If you can't control your kids (or your own candy cravings), then may I suggest you hang up your cell phone, put down the mocha latte purchased from the store's coffee bar, and punch yourself in the face.